Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I could make wine with my vomit
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
