dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
