Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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