I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Couch. On fire.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
