Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
