my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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