The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
