Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
