dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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