i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
