You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Success! We fucked roommates!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
