It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My dick has a subreddit
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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