did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
