i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
