man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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