DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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