i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
