they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
