My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
