He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
