this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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