I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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