He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
