I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
