You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
