Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
