Just took my morning after pill in the library
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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