Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
