This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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