Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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