somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
