my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
