At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
