32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
