Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
