how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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