best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
