I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
