So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
