oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
