He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
