toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You dont lie about slip and slides
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
