Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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