Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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