Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
