Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
