I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
