What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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