Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I forget how to act sober
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
