At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
